Every now and then I get into a weird mood that is hard to get out of until I sit with it for a while. It’s not bad, there’s nothing wrong, I just need to sort out my thoughts and have some time to myself. And I think part of it is not taking enough time for myself, and going and going and going until I finally realize (admit to myself?) all of a sudden that I have taken on too much and I just need a MINUTE. Is anyone else with me?! This is ironically not the first time I’m writing about this. (Here, here, here AND here I also discuss slowing down, saying no, taking care of yourself, giving yourself grace, etc. so CLEARLY I am
mastering this topic still struggling with this concept).
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about society, and our constant need for instant gratification and for everything to be picture perfect. Only showing the parts of ourselves that are fun, happy, poised, and put together. I haven’t posted much anywhere lately because I just haven’t really felt like it – I’ve been busy and tired with regular old life. School is great, but always exhausting and comes with several extra commitments. And with moving into the new house, I have put a lot of pressure on myself to “finish” everything and keep everything just so. I had to really convince myself this week that the dishes can sit for a day, the laundry can sit in the dryer for a minute, and the dog hair can accumulate a little bit in the corners — and that the world will keep on spinning. I don’t have to grade that last assignment right this second or reply to xyz email the second I get it. So, the last couple of days, I have just kind of kept to myself and taken things easy.
I teach Early Childhood Education classes – so I don’t teach young children, but I do teach teenagers about young children – and my students keep telling me about the themes they’re seeing in their internships of children giving up quickly when they don’t get the outcome they want the first time around. We went on a site visit as a class where the preschool director told us there’s a big problem with fine motor skills in young children in today’s world, because they grow up using their fingers to tap buttons on a screen and they aren’t getting the practice they need to coordinate their fine motor skills like kids have in the past, due to the easy, don’t-have-to-think-about-it technology we are so attached to. This is worth a whole separate discussion in itself, but the fact that even our CHILDREN are overloaded and overstimulated made me stop today and THINK. Sometimes it is vital for us to slow down, appreciate the little things, and take care of ourselves – and while doing so, we have to embrace the fact that things aren’t perfect, we’re going to have to work hard for things, and we can’t all be 1.6 billion dollar lottery winners (although that would have been prettttty sweet). We set this impossible standard for ourselves sometimes and then compare ourselves to the best of the photo reels we see on social media – and we think we aren’t good enough. But how about just admitting to ourselves that we are all in this together, and that even people who look really put together probably have similar issues and struggles? How about giving ourselves a little bit of grace and letting ourselves take a break every now and then? I think we have to, in order to keep doing all the other things we have to do on a daily basis.
I got to a point where I just had too much going on, so tonight I am doing my nails, having a few snacks on the couch with the doggies, and writing this blog post. Candle burning, tucked in to a cozy blanket, re-watching Gilmore Girls again, and trying to stay away from my phone because sometimes it’s nice to just settle in and hang out. So feel free to use this as a reminder to do the same (or your version of it) so you don’t have to get this slap in the face of “here we go again.” The weekend is nearly upon us 🙂 and it will be okay. The world keeps on turning, and it’s better if we can relax and be okay with ourselves while it does.