Reality check

photo by the talented samantha leonetti while we were on a yoga retreat in mexico last year

I recently hit a low point. That sounds so dramatic, but we all go through those from time to time, and I think it’s always best to be honest and unashamed of who you are. So there it is. I had a low point and I was worrying and stressed and everything felt like it was going to close in on me if I didn’t fix it immediately. But of course that’s not how life works. We can’t snap our fingers and fix everything. (Can we?!)

So anyway, I allowed myself to be upset and have a pity party for a day or two, but that’s generally my limit on feeling sorry for myself. I knew I had to make a plan to turn it around. I have always tried to be proactive about solving problems. I know some people have a hard time with that when they’re already feeling overwhelmed or down, but it’s the only way to dig yourself out of a rut. So I made my lists, stretched my brain, got advice from people I trust, and started putting my plan to action. I was taught my whole life that while we can’t control what life throws at us or what comes our way, we can control how we handle it and how we move on. My mom recently reminded me that we can’t keep looking back; we should only glance (quickly) to remind ourselves of what we’ve learned and why we aren’t there anymore.

Here’s a little reality check that surely you already know, but maybe, like me, you need a reminder of:  It doesn’t really matter what the struggle is about. Family issues, friend issues, money, weight, grief & loss, new life changes, jobs, etc. The truth is that everyone struggles. Yes, even the celebrities and fancy bloggers you follow on Instagram with their pink peonies tucked into their designer bags. Even them. We all post the best, most pristine versions of ourselves on social media. Generally only our happiest moments, our favorite things, make their way to the screen, as if to say, “Look at me go! I’m really killing it. Life is good for me, and low points are for people who don’t know how to handle stress.” It’s not necessarily a bad thing that we don’t post all of our negative thoughts or moments online – it’s kind of a fun, easy, make-believe land where everything is funny, lovely, happy, and it takes us to a place where we can escape for a little while. But we can’t forget that life happens. It happens to us, it happens to the people that we love, and it even happens to the people we don’t love or don’t even know. My point is, it is okay to have bad moments and low points. It is okay to feel overwhelmed and stressed and to accept that life is not always fair or happy. Everyone struggles in different ways, and if you were to get right down to it, I truly believe that even people who seem very different can have so much in common. No one has a perfect life, even if their Instagram or Snapchat streams would suggest otherwise. Because life is messy. Sometimes it hurts, kicks you while you’re down, and then hits you with another shitstorm juuuuust to see if you can take one more thing before you crack wide open.

But life is also such a beautiful experience. A tantalizing dance of twists and turns, spinning fast, and then just when you get too dizzy, it slows the music so you can catch your breath for the next round. The space between the highs and lows is what makes us appreciate every golden moment that we get to keep. So we remind ourselves that at some point, the sun will come out again. The chaos and turmoil will lift eventually. We surround ourselves with people who love us whether we are up, down, thin, fat, rich, poor, in a good mood or cranky, because life happens and we need them there when it does. When you focus on what you don’t have rather than what you do have, it really just poisons everything else.

So here’s a reminder to not compare yourself to others, to not get lost in the negative, and to not get mad at yourself for being in a low point. We have all been there. Make a plan about what you can do, thank God for everything you have been blessed with, keep being grateful for the air in your lungs and the love and light in your life, dust yourself off, and start climbing back up the hill to the sunlight…even if your footing isn’t sure and you don’t have a safety harness.

Here is to low points and the people who love us through them 🙂

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